Sunday, October 24, 2010 (6:23 PM)
and this is the only place i can release everything
i really wanna talk to you now and tell you how much i like you
but i duno where to start and i am afraid i would get hurt
i am afraid you would say you like me.. but only as a friend
our conversations these few days have been reduced to just minutes..
and then thinking about it.. i rmb you once asked me
" what if i stopped calling you"
wtf does that mean?
are you trying to tell me that you wanna start staying away
or are you trying to see if you would think of me if you dont call me
i keep mind fucking myself because of you
i am back to listening to my stupid emo songs because of you
i am probably sick because of you
ytd at the flea market
you asked me to pass you your bag and i saw the cabin crew tag with her name on it
did u know i was dying inside
i tried not to show my feelings on face
so i had to walk away
i wonder if i could ever measure up to her?
i know you have been with her for 7 years and that you really loved her and probably isnt easy getting over her
i get it
i have only known u for a month and i am going crazy
truth is i have never felt this way for a guy
i only communicate with the guys i like through sms or msn
and we rarely meet up
and when we do
i feel myself pushing them away
you are the only guy i have gone out with and feel comfortable during the whole date
you are the only guy who calls me every night and chat with me on the phone for hours
i like how you sound over the phone
i like how you sound when you just wake up in the morning
i like how you talk to me in a gentle tone
i like how you fell asleep on me over the phone and i didnt mind because i felt contented
but the only thing i hate and cannot get over is how u always manage to bring her into the conversation every single time
have you got no EQ?
the past few days i thought we were making progress because you really seemed to give me all your attention
but only ytd or maybe since the day before you were kinda cold
i thought only women had pms..
i rmb the day i got kinda drunk and you were with me on the phone the whole time to try to get me into my house and then waited for me to fall asleep and this time i fell asleep on you over the phone
and you said you wished you were with me to give me water
its phrases like that that keeps me going and believing that there is smth
sometimes you would call me babe and the other day u called me baby
but i wonder if you do this to all your friends
and i wonder if you think of her when you call me these names
i bet you do..
i rmb you saying stuff to me like
you would offer me a hug if you were with me because i told you i was freezing
and blabla
i would note down the amount of time we talk everyday and record it down
sounds stupid but yea
today i am sick but you dont seem to care and since i had so much time in my hands
i was thinking if you are worth it
and i was starting to feel silly for giving so much when you didnt even return anything
i wanna say i will wait
but i duno if i am that strong
i really hope you sort out your feelings soon
amd things will be on the positive side