Thursday, January 17, 2008 (3:09 PM)
this is gonna be a looooOonng blog..
anywaes.. stayed overnight in school ytd for gems drama practice..
hmmm well we were about to start till we found out that the clothes were missing!
but no one panicked we were all coool lol
then after rain and fidaee left for woodlands or smth then
guo xiong found the clothes hiding somewhere XD
rain was like
"fuck la..."
so farni anywaes practiced then what can is say
the drama was good.
then we went to slp but slping was so difficult
so uncomfortable i was sitting on the chair and laid my head on the table
but i dared not move because the chair made creaking noises for every super small movement
so i ws afraid the others would be disturbed so i was like sitting there like a statue and did not get much slp
then after that at 6 plus we went to shower at moberly's toilet
the water was
FREAKING COLD!
hahah the way i washed my hair was so weird hahah
i had to bend my body then slant in and facing backwards so that the cold water would not touch my body
although eventually i would have to wash my body hahaha
so farni
anyways... we got ready for the real thing. then it started.
there were 2 scenes that made me feel like tearing
the first was when ta wei was at the hospital and mel had died and then he saw her ghost walking away then he was like shouting after her
then alwyn and gil held him down and he was on his knees and elbows crying out for mel
that part was so sad!
its like he saw her but yet cnt get to her
like so drama omg
then the 2nd sad part was when mel was making the tie for ta wei then after that they looked deeply at one another
eyes filled with so much sadness because they know that they were going to have to go separate ways now
then as they hugged then the sad song i introduced(XD) was played then it was like omggggg
then they hugged for a while then they looked at each other one last time and mel went away
it was sooo omg!!!
it was like
they wanted to hold on forever, grabbing on to whatever left but they knew it was just impossible
T__________T
then anywaes the 2nd's grp performance was so farni but i had to leave halfway thru because had to go take attendance for the crit thingy
shafiq was soo farni!!! hahaha duno how to explain his funni-ness
then after that finished then went back for the super mini buffet hahha
then blablabla
then hmmm well was wishing that there wouldn't be any guest crit
to my luck the dean from raffles uni or smth came! i was like omg!!
then i was so stressed out till my tears nearly came out but i controlled hahaha
then after that it was just
torture and torture and torture of waiting
and then!!!
it was my turn! faint
first after lunch!
and then i started my ppt then say say say
then sigh
the usual..
comments were all bad
there were some that i could rmb clearly
eelaine said that if i still like that then i would not be able to find any job
and also my concept had to be more precise and not too vauge
my model was bare
and eelaine also said that my t3a was better at least it had some thought or smth
and also told mi not to give up
but with all these comments, who would be motivated and not want to give up?
and they just kept going on and on
i felt so sad!
like
never has there been a good comment! ever!
i was just nodding and nodding my head
i could take in their comments during the first few minutes but after that my mind went blank
i could not take in anymore
i could feel like i was going to cry but i bit my lips so hard
and finally it was over
then mr banya wanted to speak to mi but he just asked mi to show him my autoviz file then
at one point mel came and ask mi if i was alright
haha i gave her a wide smile and said i was okay
her face for a moment looked like she knew i was not
inside i was controlling and controlling so hard that my face hurt
then eelaine went back and wanli came back and wrote the comments for jerrold then i left
i called my mum to ask her where was she blablabla but she onli asked mi
"how's your presentation??"
then i changed subject immediately
somehow when she asked mi that qn it made me want to cry even more
i don't even know why i want to cry
the feeling is there but no reason
i guess i am just sad because although my effort was not enuff
but i still gave it and yet this happened
and also from this presentation did i realised that not only did i not improve,
i went back down instead.
took a taxi home
then wa it ws really very hard to ren the tears then it just came but only a bit
because i refused to let it out
then i think the taxi driver saw and he quickly turned away when we had eye contact in the mirror thing
sigh.. i thought after the crit i would feel like free but instead i feel even more caged up