hmm today went to school then waited for edmund for tutorial so i will be able to start on my model..

hmm

anywaes waited till 11 then he came and helped mi then i think he also like cnt take it anymore because i dun have c concept and its already like the 9th week?? then he gave me a concept and told mi what to do, what to build, and he explained everything to me..

i felt kinda useless la but anywaes thanks edmund! u are the best hahaha

then after tutorial went with eelaine to clarke quay the central shopping mall, man jia le! haha that's my cousin's shop!

went down because channel u pple were going down to interview him then he said he needed pple to go down and say that the food is nice to eat

hahaha

anywaes when it was almost our turn, eelaine and i went to sit with emily's sister and her friend. then tifffany was interviwed first, she had some NGs then after that she ran away then it was her friend's turn. wa he like pro?

like so prepared la!

hahahah

then after that it was my turn! the guy was like telling mi wat to say then i like kept asking him mani times hahahah

then after that when i was ready to say and he started filming i like stoned there hahahah!!!

then i shouted out

''oh shit! i forgot wat  to say!''

hahhaa like so embarrassing!!

lol then NG a few times then it was.. 

EELAINE'S TURN!!!

hahahah

she famn farni la

the guy was asking her in chinese how often she goes to the shop to eat the luo bo gao thing

then she was like

ya hen hao chi!

hahah! like wth!!

hahahahah so farni la!

then she had mani NGs

hahahah then she had to say that she went down once a week or more to eat the luo bo gao

then she said

once a week luo bo gao

hahahah! i luff till stomach pain la! hahaha

today best ar!!! fc2 lol!

i duno i duno i duno!!
arghhh
i am so confused!
i thought i have made up my mind
but up tilll now i realised that i am still confused on whether i want to change course

these few days
racking my brains for concepts
i realised that maybe i am not cut out for this course
and after making the model i am even clearer of this point.

when people see my model
they may think that i am not putting in enough effort
yes i agree that i did not put in enough effort
but they have to agree with mi that i cannot work without a concept
at least they have a weak concept to guide them through something
i dun even have a weak concept
i have a "cannot make it" concept

past few days i have been so stressed out and
was thinking thoroughly on whether i should change
and today i went to check up on the requirements on changing course and then the woman said that we could change but we cannot be removed from our course.

and i FO camp is coming up and i am in the committee
games I/C
i was pretty scared at first but after talking to kelvin
i realised that hey i could make it fun
then i asked him
if i were to change course would i still be part of the camp
and he said no
i felt so lost at that moment
so many mixed emotions
i felt sad
angry
frustrated
lost
all the negative emotions.
i really want to stay on in the committee
i dun wanna start all over again

not onli for my cca..
friends too
i wanna graduate with everyone
making new friends is a bit tough
its like a new environment once again.

pple asking me not to change
but i really cannot take the stress
i am so lagging behind
i am not making any progress
i don't understand anything..

friends are moving on too
and we should not have promised each other anything
because in the end
we will be disappointed
i knew you would change your mind in the ultimate end..
yet i still wanted to give myself a little bit of hope
but not going to try to persuade or push the blame
just let nature take its course.

sniff!!!! woke up at 7.02 and i tot i woke up late because u know still had to shower and get ready everything so i was like omgg actually not that late la just 7 mins late LOL
anywaes i got ready and then
i went down and was about to go
and it was 730
then my dad was like eh..
i tot u tue start at 9
then i was like
OMGGGG
NOOOooooooooOOOOO
i could have had one more hour of slp!!!
T__________________T
i am SOOOooOOOOOOooOOOO
S T U P I D
i must have been stupified by some stupid fairy

i can't stop thinking of you

i am too messed up and bitched up to deserve such a good family

i duno what to do 

i feel so lost

i know i am not the only one facing this poblem

but it is so hard bottling it all up inside of me

its already week7 yet i dun have F**cking concept

why does everything have to revolve around concepts?

lecturers say we are learning how to be interior DESIGNERS

they always ask us to flip through mags, read more,

but i mean if we tae from the magazines then it is no longer designing 

it should be called interior amending 

 duno whether i should change course

should mani pros and cons to think of

WTFFFFF

concept concept concept

hearing this word makes m blood boil

i can erupt anytime

my friends always say that my work is ok la

and that theirs suck

but i know that deep down they know that theirs are better.

can't blame them

its just human nature

on wed went out with my mum and godparents and my mum brought mi to forum because they were having this awesome fendi sale?

so we went up i took a look round.
nah not that fantastic but i ended up buing 2 bags and 2 shoes lol u can't blame me!
they were 70% off!!!

then after that my aunt came and she was like
"huh!!! u spent $3000??? do u know that is 3 person's one month salary???"
i felt so guilty
then my mum was like
"aiya they having big sale what."
then she just kept quiet.
then after that we went to paragon because i wanted to show my mum a pair of guess shoes that i like and i wanted only her to come because i didn't want my relatives to think that wa.. spend so much
anyways i ended up buying 2 pairs of shoes absolutely gorgeous will post the pics up
then my aunt came with my godparents and they sat down.
then my godfather said
"wa rachel!! u today happy right!! ur mama in shopping mood and also u have found your concept!!"
hehehe yup that's right
then my aunt was like indirectly saying me and she said
" ya lo and get to spend so much money hor"
and she gave me that face?
seriously man
when her daughter grows up she will also be doing this to her
now she buys anything her daughter wants,
spoils her to the core
so i dun think she has any right to say me?
wadevaaa

and then after eating lunch came down and saw a malay couple quarelling
lol the girl damn cool la
like street fighter
multiple attacks haha
the guy confirm K.O

hmm sunday was ruan's wedding! wahahaha and guess what i am one of the 5 bridesmaids how cool is that haha. all of us wore champagne colored dresses and uncle richard made us corsage! and it was absolutely beautiful.
ruan stays like just a min walk away from me and so when they said that we had to reach emily's house by 7 30, i was like o ok since they are living together then should be there
then i was like so happy that it was so near hahha
then that was when they popped my happy bubble! they said its not at ruan's house it's at emily's own house.
which means i have to reach her house at pasir ris at 7 30!!

X_____________________________________X

i woke up at like 5 and snoozed the alarm till 5.15! so tired..
then i woke up showered, changed, and then went down and since it was still early i decided to try on my shoes first. then omg it didn't match! so heng i tried it on!!
then i was like so frantic i was searching my whole shoe cabinet and in the end i wore a silver pair of shoes which matched but was okay onli la.

then i booked a taxi and then went to jurong east to pick up vivian and she wasn't ready when i was at her block! anyways she finally came down and we started to go towards pasir ris

so we reached and we were the earliest among the other bridesmaids and then we went in to see emily and she was making her hair and make up. she looked absolutely gorgeous!!!!

hahaha and then slowly all the girls arrived and we got ready for the gate crashing
*evil laughter*
7 50 the guys reached and then they were waiting downstairs for one of the bestman and from the 9th lvl looking down at them really felt cool hahaha they looked so tiny.!
haha
all of them were so handsome la my 2nd bro my cousin and the groom and the groom's friend. my 1st brother's hair looked so ugly la! look like bird's nest haahha from top view la lol

all of them were wearing white shirt, black skinny tie, black pants and white/black pointed shoes! hahaha shuai dai le

8 15 the last best man arrived like finally?? and omgggg he was the only one wearing a white shirt! i think its because ruan changed last minute to red and then to white again and then maybe he didn't getthe white msg or smth but anywaes..they all shouted together from downstairs

"emily!!! we are here!!!"

hahaha all the bridesmaids heard that but onli i heard it as emily we love u! hahahha
lol i need to do some serious ear digging! even the bride heard it from her room!!! 0_0

anyways gate crashing time!the first qn..

when was the first time u chatted with emily on IRC? and the answer has to be in german..
3..2..1! times up
hahah we made it like impossible so they would do the penalty hahaha
the penalty was they had to pass quail egg through the pants means the 1st guy passes the egg for the 2nd guy and the 2nd guy passes it for the 3rd and so on . lol and
then when the guy was passing it for my brother, it got stuck in the middle!! hahahhaa
it was hilarious!!! hahaha so farni i should have taken a picture hahaha

then my eldest bro didn't do because he was wearing skinny jeans hahhaah
okay
the 2nd qn..
Time, date etc of birth and which incubator

so he didn't know and the penalty was they had to pluck out their leg hair and form the word emily for the bride to keep as souvenir hahahah

then they were given each a mini bball which was attached to the net and they had to put it at their 'there' and then had to make the ball go inside the net. and they had to do it a hundred times with all of them added up together. obviously they didn't make it

so... their prize was guess what

they were given 5 pegs each and then they had to clip it on their face la. so the 5 girls each pulled 5 hahah after pulling, the groom had to clip 10 of the clips on his face again as an extra thing hha i felt so sorry for him lol

anywaes the next qn was wat was emily's fav bra, panty, brand and colour
hahaha he didn't manage to answer and so each of them were given a disposable underwear and had to wear it and then they had to write 'emily' on their panty using lipstick. so one panty one alphabet the last person had to put a ! mark hahaha

and that was not it after they did it, they had to use their butt to write out her chinese name so farni!!! and cute!! hahahaha

then the ang bao negotiating moment has arrived! hahaha all together we collected 188 +16

yea we couldn't collect too much because eaach of us were gg to be given an individual angbao at the end of the day

yea and finally we let him in and b4 he went in he had to say smth sweet or romantic and loud enuff for her to hear
so he said a few times b4 she said ok and let him in
her dress was soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo nice!!!!!!!!!
so gogeous! hahaah then the tea ceremony!
oomg her dad was crying oh man i felt ike crying when i saw him crying
its like his eldest bao bei was going.. T_____T
so touching

then after that we went over to ruan's house and then u know they used small cups right then my aunt was like making fun and said
'eh let ur parents drink from the ultra big bowl la!!" haahha then who knew when it was her turn theyused the ultra bg bowl and thy really had to drink hahahaha everyone was luffing like mad lol
and then it was the younger generation to give tea and then he gave an angbao! hahaa yay! happpi! ^____^

after that i went home took my hw and clothes and then we headed for sentosa! weee
the room was soooo coool!!! anywaes we had a photoshoot with the bride then after that we went back to the room and slacked till 5. and then omg one of the best man was so shuai la

*heart__________heart* + *drooooooooooooooool

hahahah so cute anywaes.. when we had to change back to our dresses, then all the girls were bz putting on make up and making their hair except for miii hahaha so shiok so slack hahahah
blablabla
then normally pple sign on the wedding guest book right but then my cousin he bought a canvas and paint, crayon, and markers for the guests to sign! how cool is that!anywaes the bride and groom were being saboed by the BM

their 1st game was that the groom would be blind folded and then his mum , sis, emily and his brother would kiss him wiht a plastic sheet as a barrier and then he had to guess which one emily's
haha the first to go was his mum, and then his sister went up and then she went to blow really hard and it made a fartin sound hahahah so farni la anywaes it was emily's turn and then his brother
haha his brother made it so passionate hahahah!!!
the ruan and his siblings all damn farni all their pics all farni faces

then he guessed it right u know! everyone was AwwWWWWWWwww
it was so sweet la then the MC asked him why he chose the 3rd one
then he said because it was gentle hahahhahah

andywaes then it was the bride's turn to be blindfolded then she had to feel ard 6 guy's hands and then guess which was ruan's and she also guessed it right! SO SWEEEEEET
hahha
actually we were hoping they would guess it wrong so that they would suffer the penalty! the penalty was that they had to eat a quarter peice of bread which had wasabi applied on it rolled up together wth small red chilli! hahahha oh well
guess they are lucky blablabla and actually i was supposed to sit at table 3 but because it was of ruan's friends so i think i will feel out of place so i changed to the table where my mum was sitting because 2 pple did not turn up hahah

and then i regretted la that table so mani shuai ge!! T____T
then was at the carpark then saw that shuai ge! weee

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