T H R E E O F H E A R T S

(10:52 PM)

feel so emo
like out of the blue
maybe its menopause? HAHAH as if..

its the age
its getting to me
well i know 19 is considered young but it is bothering me becasue! throughout my 19 years i have never enjoyed my life the way a teenage should.
like going out, having fun, going wild HAVING LIFE

teenagehood and childhood has just been about studies and becasue of the strict parents
i rarely go out ok not rarely but in between rarely and seldom
ask them this
NO
ask them that
NO
answer is mostly no
I NEED A LIFE

and bloody poly is taking up even more of my time! everyday project this project that kns la
and by the time i grad
i will be 20! A 2 IS REPLACING MY BELOVED 1! that is when
i will become a semi adult!!!
like so scary!! then if i ever go to uni i will grad at the age of 24 and then work and get married at 26 AND that is where i will officially have no life.
i see my cousins getting married and of course have their child blablabla what a blessing blablabla
but your life will just be about your children and working blablabla
i wanted to go achieve my dream when i was still a teenager!
but i guess impossible now?
feeeel so ollld!!!!!!!! maybe another reason is also because i am no longer the youngest generation of the family and i have more and more nieces and nephews popping out! calling me aunty rachel! like wtf! i am only 19! call mi jie jie! LOl

and i guess at this age, pple will start talking to u about weddings!!!!!!!!!!
well maybe it only happens to me?

was chatting to a very very very close friend of mine the other day, it was the first time we chatted in 2 years and haveknown each other for 7 years since i was in sec 1!
and then i was asking him about army and how was his gf blabla
and now he has changed from lawyer gf to executive gf

his gf is 3 years older than him but its ok la since he prefers mature girls
and anyways he told me that his gf BROKE UP WITH HER FIANCE for hiM!
like
wow
so cool
the power of love! XD

then he told me that they were gonna get married when he hits 25 cause otherwise she will be too old and all.
then i was like HUH
then it suddenly felt like it was just days ago when we would call each other everyday to chat and he will listen to all my complaints and let me cry over the phone blabla
and i would listen to him talking about his gfs and give him comments
i mean it is so sudden
although it is just getting married but it somehow feels different!
its like we practically watched each other grow up. from childish to being mature
and then he is gonna be a dad and..
duno how to explain but it just feels kinda sad
we used to chat so much and that day he seemed kinda stranger
it was heartbreaking

these few days have been such emo days
must be the projects
sigh..

Sunday, January 25, 2009 (11:40 PM)

HAPPY CNY EVERYONE!!!! XD

ang pow collection time!!! gonna make sure i greet every single relative and suck them of their ang pows LOL

but so saddening ITS ONLY 2 DAYS OF HOLS!

well better than one day i guess XD at least its a long weekend

ANYWAYS

eat more ba kua and have more candies and whatver snacks there are! just SUP THEM ALL UP

Friday, January 23, 2009 (9:04 PM)

my convo with eel XD

self pity says:
like u duno how to continue right
Eelaine says:
oh wellss
Eelaine says:
YAAA
self pity says:
hahaha
Eelaine says:
PRECISELY
self pity says:
then if u continue duno if irritating or not
Eelaine says:
YAAAAAA
Eelaine says:
OMGGGGG
self pity says:
LOLLL
Eelaine says:
U KNOW HOW I FEEL
Eelaine says:
HAHAHAHA
self pity says:
hahahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahah

Thursday, January 22, 2009 (11:33 PM)

ARGH!!!!!!!!
REALLY DAMN FBLOODY ANGRYYY!!!!!!
my mum packed my cupboard yet again
can't she just stay out and stop touching my stuff
and now she packed in all the unwanted stuff tha ti took out and i have to wasste my bloody time to take out the fclothes again.
told her countless times to STOP PACKING MY ROOM
does she not understand english?
i guess not cause if she did
she wouldn't have done it!
and she rearranged all my clothes which i SUPER CANNOT TAKE IT
i already know where each item belongs, which cupboard and whatever shit and now i have to waste my time to pack them again!
FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF

oh not only that she packed all my bags, my face stuff AND I CAN'T BLOODY FIND MY FITEMS

Wednesday, January 21, 2009 (11:00 PM)

that was like the worst thing she could do
but i could tell that it was hard for her as well
i could feel her emotions
her chest tightening and fighting back tears
it was really a heart wrenching scene

she was so strong
she said she will be appreciative of the love and all
and that her feelings were true
that particular scene was so devastating
when he replied
i can't imagine if i were the guy
i would feel like dying inside
and as he said find somewhere to hide
that's what i would do

the girl says sorry and she really means it
i could tell that after she said it, then she realised how hard it was to do it
and that all her thinkings about it were wrong.

but if u watched u, u will be able to tell instantly how hard it was

(8:32 PM)

RACHEL LEW! DO YOUR BLOODY WORK!
goshhhh i have no motivation! i have got loads of work but i just keep walking around the house or surfing the net as i am blogging now
*rolls eyes*

(8:32 PM)

Bitch in disguise

watch out for me

(8:08 PM)

TODAY IS THE DAY! A VEY SPECIAL DAY!
THE DAY MY SET OF TEETH IS SET FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
after 4 years of being locked up, it finally gets to see the light
LOL NO MORE RUBBER BANDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! yayyy
no more getting poked by the braces thingyy YAYYY

hahaha it feels so smooth when i run my tongue over them but however i have this stain on my 2 FrONT TEETH T_____T
and i asked the dentist what is it then she said something flourides or smth didn't catch it clearly and she said she also has it so i guess its normal. i think i had it since young! NOO like so sad cause its so freaking ovbious! i need to go do whitening but i am afraid my teeth would get sensitive and i would need to give up my beloved ice cream forever!!! which is going to be such a heart wrenching thing to do!!!

(6:28 PM)

Should i or should i not
will it be right?
will I feel regretful

Tuesday, January 20, 2009 (8:45 PM)

Recommended Schedule
19/01
Launch of T3c. Desk Review of follow up from T3b crits
Final decision on conceptual framework.

20/01
Development of final working drawings
Testing out of spatial qualities with quick sketches and detailing.
Insert essentials such as grid lines etc

22/01
Development of final working drawings.
Reworking on details.
Desk review on most updated plans , sections and elevations

23/01
Development of final working drawings.
Reworking on details.
Front elevation – proposals to be pinned up (fully rendered).
Pin up at least 1 detail proposal.

26 and 27/1
The Chinese New Year 2009.
Year of the Ox.
Plough On.
Pineapple Tarts and Go.

29/01
No more Chinese New Year 2009.
Final round of review of working drawings

30/01
Details
Models
Renders
Target : Send working drawing set for print and final checking

02/02
Details
Models
Renders
Review of Details

03/02
Details
Models
Renders

05/02
Details
Models
Renders
Target : Send details for print and final checking

06/02
Details
Models
Renders
Pin up of renders for review

09/02 – 13/02
Preparation and consolidation for submission

13/02
Submission window for T3c will officially open on the Thursday 12th of February 12:30 p.m. and close Friday 13th February 11:00 a.m.

16/02
Final Joint Crit Begins

18/02
Submission window for Design Journal will officially open Wednesday 18/02 , 10 a.m. and close at 1 p.m.

This whole thing is crazy shit la. this is not the way a teenager should live her life. life is not all about studies and getting good grades, trying to impress people.
that above is the schedule our lecturers planned for us till our submission date.
it is crazy! everyday is full of project work! and they said for chinese new year we only have time for a pineapple tart. wth?
we need life too.
this is SHIT!
i am dead but breathing

Sunday, January 18, 2009 (8:51 PM)

SHEA IS A FUCKING COPYCAT

Monday, January 12, 2009 (10:10 PM)

was talking to my junior and was chatting about courses since he just got back his results and then something he said which i thought was very true so i decided to quote him

"choose the wrong course and regret for life"

that's me and i guess to some of my friends.
really lost at what to do with life at this moment. definitely not going to be an interior designer no way no how.
i was also thinking that maybe after i grad from poly i will start a shop with my friend poopy. then both of us can handle the shop together! like so cool but i am afraid parents will force me to go to a uni. even if they dun force me they will say so in a manner such that i will feel guilty if i dun go. so hopfully that doesn't happen.

now thinking of attachment and stuff
feel so afraid and tired or this course.
at least pple like jamie and jonathan are good at this. but some of us totally suck at it
and especially crits omg
it just turns me off. so intimidating presenting in front of all those pple. i know presentations are supposed to prepare us for the future but whatever. i dun need this preparation.

and as for attachment
i think.. well not think i can confirm i will screw up the whole thing big time and then i will get into trouble. hopefully the pple are not fierce cause once someone is fierce towards me, my brain just shuts down and i turn pale. like so embarrassing.
haiz hope they just teach me and dun ask me to do anything

hmm kinda impossible