T H R E E O F H E A R T S

arghhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(10:44 PM)

so mani things bottled up inside!!
i need a listening ear
but where is the right one when i need it??
i am afraid to just tell anyone for fear of being seen as a different person!
all these has changed me
i used to be so cheerful
but now i am like so lethargic
i used to be able to put myself in others shoes
but now i can't seem to do that
reflectin upon myself now,
i feel that i am so different
i need to change back

such a troubled mind
but yet i put up a brave front
so mani times i want to just let everything go
but i something is stopping me and i don't know what

i want to confide
but i just can'.
=

help me someone..

sighs

(10:05 PM)

Main Entry: ambiguous
Definition: unclear
Synonyms:
cryptic, doubtful, dubious, enigmatic, enigmatical, equivocal, inconclusive, indefinite, indeterminate, inexplicit, obscure, opaque, puzzling, questionable, tenebrous, uncertain, unclear, unintelligible, vague

Main Entry: dislike
Definition: despise
Synonyms:
abhor, abominate, allergic to, antipathize, avoid, condemn, contemn, deplore, despise, detest, disapprove, disesteem, disfavor, disrelish, eschew, execrate, hate, loathe, mind, not appreciate, not endure, object to, regret, resent, scorn, shudder at, shun, turned off

i am feeling doubful and i dislike feeling this way..
so mani things i want to voice out but i can't do it here..so i will say it indirectly
i am trying to be good but alwaes smth comes alwaes happens which make mi feel full of irritation..
its like i owe money or smth
talking as if familiar with one another..
maybe at times we are too alike
too stubborn
wanting to get what we want
alwaes showing that mood of yours
complaining...
maybe that's why we sometimes cnt click
but i really want to treat you the way you should be treated
given mani chances..
alwaes keeping silent..
taking a step back..
but it is almost coming to a point
where i cnt stand it..

do u understand what am i talking about?
hope the message will get through to you.

hmmm

Thursday, August 02, 2007 (10:57 PM)

today met poh lim and gaston for lunch then we chatted and chatted about their gf about yuyu about sch life then after that they went to library to study then mi and mel went to photocopy our stuff

then finally time for submission

then i was in the middle of the line la then eelaine was in charge of our class de then she was quiet when checking the student's work in teh front then my turn wa
she got ALOT of comments la

first page.. 'aiyoo why ur human figure like that?? why look like bottle?'

stamp

second page..'why u draw from bottom view?!!! wat is at the bottom??'

stamp

third page..'omg!! why this one look like inside of the mouth?? what is this?? later u bring ur model i see'
'but i never bring model'
'omg........ like that how to show u?? y u never bring???'

stamp

last page
'yyyyy! y ur shading like that?? next time shade must shade nicer la! even kindergarten can shade nicer!'

that last sentence was just hurting

sigh i duno if this is the course for mi
i just dun feel creativity flowing thru mi
i want to change course
but that would mean that i have to repeat a year
but a year is a good sacrifice made if i can get a good job
but if i change course how would i know i would not change agn?
maybe it would end up the same as my current course?

hmmm

Wednesday, August 01, 2007 (9:28 PM)

hmm today also saw poh lim and nerton and their classmates at fc 2hmm quite shocked to see them there tot they were the kind to alwaes go to fc 3 or 4 anywaes nerton sat opposite mi and chatted with mi for a while and then went off to buy his food
then was waiting for ryan and gab to arrive.
then sittng down then i turned my head and i saw jeremy and ryan and they missed mi so i went to call them and on my way out i hit my ankle bone on the metal thingy
PAIIN!!!!!!!!!!
anywaes we sat there and chatted and then went home then blablabla

argh

(9:05 PM)

gosh! wat is his freaking problem??
that day he suddenly came online and say
i feel that u are a hi-bye friend
then he started to talk in an attitude manner and i could not take it so i attiude back
f la
wat is his problem
i busy to talk to him to find time for him got prob ar
i dun even have time for projects la
hell..
then i just didn't feel like talking to him then
then just now he talk to mi and i tot we were ok le la
then he asked if i could go out with them next mon but i said i had sch
then he started to talk about that he may die in the operation
then i said u wun die unless the doctor says some kind of deadly stuff
then he said that i would saying the different thing if i was the one lying on the bed then i was like thinking hmm that's kinda true
so i changed topic
and asked him wat his nickname was about because he put his pm as that's wat i like bout her
so he used to tell mi all about the girls he liked
then he said
i am not gg to tell anyone then i was like lol
so i didn't qn anymore then we were quiet for a while
then he typed
i onli tell my close friends
wtf la
so now i am an outcast in his friends list la
if he do it so can i