Monday, February 26, 2007 (10:45 PM)
today went to ryan's b'dae party. mi serena and jy shared money and bought him a puma sling bag. anywaes.. so darn angry! arghhh
my dad kept calling mi and i answered the first 2 or 3 times then the other calls were left unanswered cause i did not hear it. then he called jy's phone then jy passed it to mi for mi to answer then my dad was like super angry?
dad: why did u not answer my phone calls? i tried calling u mani times but u did not pick up!
mi: opps sori! i did not hear it!
dad: bu guan le, wo xian zai yi jing hen shen qi le. ni gei wo ma shang hui lai! (super angry tone)
in fact there was a problem with my phone which i did not know till i asked jy to call my phone to test and my phone did not ring at all. i thought it was set to silent mode but no it ws not. so my phone indeed had a problem.
i mean why can't they just let mi be? since i am at a friend's birthday party, whose house is so near mine, why do they keep calling mi?
i mean they totally destroyed my mood! i did not even get to eat the cake! and after he called mi i was just so down and i did not feel like talkin to anyone but i kept a fake smiling face. then i went up alone to get my bag then came down and saw everyone taking pics. i wanted to go over at first but really felt like breaking down.when i reached home, my dad opened the door for mi ( i was hoping he would be aslp) and talked to mi in an irritated tone and i told him my phone was spoiled and the whole story then i went up. i was already quite pissed and ready to take a shower.my mum asked how was the bbq then i was thinkin to myself , how can it be good when you keep flooding my phone with your phone calls asking mi to go back?? and when i did not reply her, she asked mi why i did not answer my phone! then i was like half shouting, my phone is spoiled ok??!! and i closed the toilet door and silently weeped. i could take it anymore. i was so.. i can't describe.
i feel so suffocated! i know it is good that my parents care but i still need room! i need air to breathe!
up till now my mum does not even allow my friends to stay over! argh! and my dad! he is worse! even now, when he hears a phone call from a boy who is looking for mi, he would get so fed up! i mean WTF la! can't i even have guy friends?? is it like a crime?? when i was primary 6 i asked my mum when would she give mi freedom? and she said after my o lvls
and now it is already after o lvls and she did not keep her promise! and instead she said after your A lvls. F la. she knows i am not gg to jc yet she keeps doing things to make mi go there?
why can't she understand that i will never catch up with the other students in jc?
why can't she understand that i hate it when she compares mi with my brothers?
why can't she understand that i hate it when she says i am stupid? so what if i am? if she is saying i am stupid then isn't she talkin about herself? she is the one who gave birth to me!
why? WHy? WHY? DAMN IT!
if she doesn't want to give me freedom tehn why dun she just say so? why keeep giving mi false hopes??
whatever! i am so fed up with all this crap. just wanna hide somewhere now far away from them far away from all this unhappiness
HaPPiE cHi nEw YEAR!!!
Thursday, February 22, 2007 (11:08 PM)
happie chinese new year peeps!!! lol hmm this year's chinese new year has been a bit boring. Chu yi went to my dad's office and normally we would gamble but this year we did not and it was soooooooooooooo damn boring. so boring that i booked a taxi and went to JE with my friend and caught a movie. just follow law. it was ok la nth fantastic onlisome farni parts lol. quite lame tho.then on chu er everyone would come to my house to gamble and blablabla. lols then ard 2 plus, someone rang the bell and it was still very early, but anyways i went to open it and omg guess who it was?? lol it was zoe tay together with her husband and thier baby boy! Their son was so damn cute!!! funky hairstyle too! zoe tay looked damn gorgeous too. then i wondered wat were they doin at my hse! then her husband asked mi if this was michael's house (my uncle's house since both our houses were No.1)
then i was like no, it is the other side. lols anywaee both our house and uncle's house had the lion dance thing and this guy was so cute!! damn lols!!
blablabla days passed and i counted my ang bao! less than last year but oh wells not bad la lols
and my ah gong gave mi and my 2 brothers an ang bao then he joked with mi sayin that inside has no money! lol then anywaes i went home and opened it while my mum was sitting beside mi watching tv lol i was so shocked!! when i opened it i tot i saw a hundred! but no! it was a THOUSAND!! how cool is that!! lol!!
Saturday, February 17, 2007 (11:00 PM)
when u have been in a bright room all along
and then suddenly everything becomes dark,
u can't see anything
but when u have been in the dark all along,
u are used to it.
part of me has been in the dark all these while
anger
sorrow
regrets
Im such a fool for regretting like this
Im the one who let you go,
i didnt hold onto you
now i am sitting here watching you with her
hearing your name makes my heart ache
Im just shedding sad tears
I hate myself for being this way
You left me first...
Without telling me anything...
Leaving behind everything in your heart
I hated you for leaving with just sadness remaining
My friends tell me
,That slowly, things will be forgottenI tried to forget.
In the passing time,
I try to erase my memories of you
But I cant throw them away
prayer
Friday, February 16, 2007 (11:26 PM)
Before I fall asleep I pray for a whileWith a sincere heart of hoping that I will earn the wisdom of forgetting you
So that my aching heart from our separation will not be a burden to the next personGive me a heart to forgive the person who gave me this wound
I am a weak and selfish person but tell me in a soft voice(just let it go) I hear you now...
It's alright, It's ok. Its only for a while, the pain will disappearEven if my heart crumbles, it will always be a good memory
Whenever Im lonely and having a hard timeBless those who comfort meMake those who tried to pry us apart realize(just let it go) I hear you now...
I am a weak and selfish person but tell me in a soft voice(just let it go) I hear you now...
I pray like this to get over youIts not that I dont like you anymoreIm doing this because this pain might never end(( can't let it go)
It's alright Even if you leave, even if you meet new peopleIf my heart crumbles, please give me a new onethis is my prayer
Wednesday, February 14, 2007 (10:23 PM)
HAPPIE VALENTINE'S DAY EVERYBODY!!!!!!
lols although i have no date (a guy) but at least i went out with jia ying lol. we went to do a french mani and pedi then ate like beggars! not really like qi gai but a bit ke lian the way we eat lol.anywaes finish medi and pedi we RUSHED to cine to catch a movie! miss potter. hmm not bad i guess? lols then we went in 15mins late and then we were lookin for our seats then i saw lizann and a guy theni told jy to sit near them! i kept sayin hi lizann but she did not hear mi!
lol anywaes after the movie jia ying and i went to scare her lol!! so farni but she looked so pretty that day! and we were like teasin her and the guy. anywaes my eyes were quite sharp! we were crossin the road to heerens and guess who we saw!!!!!
sir and mam!!! lols!!! then we went to scare them and they got a shock lol! their expression were soooo damn farni!!!then walked ard heerens lookin for bags to buy but ended up with none then suddenly!!!!
someone came from behind and gave jia ying a scare! guess who? serena and zi wei
lol so qiao!took neoprints then jy and i went to lot 1 to print photos from my cam!
so damn ex lor!!! altogether i had to pay 190 smth but there was a promotion so paid 180 plus still so ex wa my heart damn pain sia lol!!!anywaes jy and i each bot a stalk of rose for our mums lol. blablabla jy should be tellin the rest. super lazi to carry on
Friday, February 09, 2007 (11:21 PM)
AHHHHH the susupense is finally over!!!!! lols today we have collected our results!!! sitting in the hall and hearing mr chia talk was kinda boring but oh wells. then finally he shuts his trap and we line up to collect our results. i keep thinking to myself that i will so veri badly cause i did quite badly for prelim and the papers that they set were rather easy. but anyways i got 13 for my L1R4!!! i was soooooooo shocked!!!!lol lol lol
eng - b3
math - b3
a math - b3
sci - a2
poa - a2
sigh at least i got 2 As!!
hahah but my mum doesn't seem satisfied she thought i would get 10 points or so. she was like comparing mi to my brothers. i was like hello??? they are like from catholic high? a famous school? whereas i am from a miserable neighbourhood school? how could she compare mi with them? argh watever. lols
hmmmmm hope mi and jy and hopfully serena and other peeps get into the same course!!!
bery nerbous
Thursday, February 08, 2007 (11:26 AM)
OMIGOSH!!!! we are gonna collect our 'O' lvl results tml!!!! i hope i will do well.. hope everyone does well..lols. that night had this super scary nightmare!!! i dreamt that we were collecting our results!!! and then when i opened mine, all my results were all zero which is kinda impossible and i duno why but i changed everything to 6 lol. then i told my teacher about the problem and he said he would check it out for mi but he never got back to mi. then i went to our class chairman who had all of our results so i went to check mine but it was stated as unknown!!!!! lols so maybe my dream is trying to tell mi smth?? so i am guessing, since it is unknown, i might have to be more xiao shun towards my parents and do more shan shi!! lols wat a lame logic lols.
but trust mi the dream was super scary. lol i woke up crying!!!! tsk and there was once my mum went to pray to the guan yin (which happens to be very ling) and she prayed about my results. and guan yin said i would do badly but she would help mi if i put in alot of effort which i did not so... yea.. lols hmmm right now i am waiting for jy to appear at my house lol then we are gonna have a movie marathon!!! lols but too bad lots of nice shows are wither with my godma or my friends. oh well.. too bad then! at least this means i can ask them over again when the shows are back! lols. hmmm gtg now!
Saturday, February 03, 2007 (10:00 PM)
omgggg i love my dior baG!!!it cost my dad $2,880!! lol lovin it!!!
